101 excuses for
Late
homework
2
Written by Alex Fear
with thanks to:
William Belcher,Liam Wincote,James Lewis, Ben
Lawson,Joe Vaughan, Andrew Purple, Charlie Z,
Ben Lea,,Mr Scott and Mrs. Screen
1. Sloberdam melosavitch slobbered all over it.
2. I've been on holiday all year.
3. The year 11's threw eggs in my bag.
4. Scorch the beanie baby dragon blew a beanie baby hole in it.
5. Mrs. Hole made a hole in it.
6. My dad used it as a university scholarship.
7. I wrote on the back of my dads university scholarship.
8. Hi my name is Joe and i work in the mutton factory one day my boss said to me "Joe do your homework I said "no"!
9. I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world.
10. I'm an army girl in an army world.
11. I sent it to the refugees in Kosovo.
3. My Food teacher got all salibals and now they worship me as their god, See ya.
13. cartman used it to kill Kenny.
14. I faxed it to you yesterday in my CD player.
15. I faxed you a picture of my homework.
16. Monica Lewinski used it as a toy.
17. 1+1 = 59985690 ha ha I'm the ein-svein.
18. Homer ate it . DOH!
19. As you she ish sham drunks!
20. headmaster hit me in the eye. Oh yeah my loneliness is killing me killing me.
21. Ummm it's Geri Halliwells fault. You +++++ Geri.
22. The Munich's used it as a hanky. When we man-u won.
23. Geri "looked at it" and it ripped in two.
24. If you put your homework in the nuclear gunk it gets bigger and goes black.
25. If you put your homework in the oven it gets smaller and goes black.
26. I eat paper.
27. It came out of the printer so i put it back in.
28. please go away sir.
29. oh shut up sir.
30. sir your getting on my nerves.
31. get lost before I ram a pen down your throat.
32. that's it your dead rahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
33. I'm going home.
34. I'll just ignore what you just said.
35. I was having and egg and sperm race.
36. Now my girl friends pregnant. I know I know I'm only 12.
37. Hey margarita.
38. Seeing I have no brain I won't be listening to you ever again.
39. My little brother has given me chicken pox and now I'm a chicken.
40. My brains popped out.
41. What on earth are they.
42. I dunno if I did my homework or not.
43. I'm still a little confused.
44. Clouds may be mistaken for homework.
45. I gave it life.
46. One day I'll rule the world and you'll be sorry.
47. Arrrrrrgh your crazy.
48. aya vampire bita mea.
49. Ha ha.
50. I awakened the dead.
51. I'm going to make you dead and not awaken you.
52. ahh homework such a meaningless ordeal.
53. homework is ++++ your ++++ everything's ++++! ha ha ha! doh! ++++.
54. I bazzocered my veruca and my foot then my body sort of came off.
55. I go to John mason.
56. I was giving myself sex education.
57. I was fixing an artificial lung upto my pen.
58. Arghhh my hearts stopping.
59. My mum is the Eiffel tower compared to you and no I didn't do my homework.
60. Don't you know we drink tango at the white house with president Clinton and Monica lewinski.
61. I built a structure so great that people in the future will be able to look in wonder at it.
62. ahhhh you don't know I haven't done it do you?
63. I'm not talking to you.
64. At the moment it's up here but sadly it'll never be down here.
65. At the moment it's up here. On the ceiling!
66. I told you to stop bothering me sir.
67. I tell my dad you broke my golden ruler.
68. My hand ripped it up. Stupid hand!
69. I'll tell your wife that you're gay.
70. I was becoming president of the gls (gay lesbian society).
71. I thought we had a deal.
72. It's just a age I'm going through called pubity!
73. My mum and dad can't afford paper.
74. I was up all night learning how to stop swearing. oh ++++!
75. I glued my fingers to my tongue.
76. I got a tattoo on my forehead and then I had to get my forehead removed.
77. It's school sports day today bye (and you run away it's so easy)!
78. Look it's not my fault that after every letter I typed the computer said abort retry fail.
79. Oh ++++y
80. If you wanna be my lover don't make me do homework.
81. David beckham kicked my leg and posh spice bit my arm.
82. Sir you smell like gasoline . I'll set fire my homework. Then I'll light your breath and then you explode you'll explode in Mexico.
83. DOH!
84. I was laughing hysterically all week.
85. I read the follow up to 101 excuses for late homework.
86. I can say poo poo I can say poo poo I can say poo poo.
87. I wasted my time writing a follow up to 101 excuses for late homework.
88. I welded a hole in my head in d+t.
89. Why are you doing that.
90. How come your asking me a question while I'm on the computer.
91. Am I alive? I travelled through time and killed my grandpa.
92. I travelled through time and lost my homework.
93. Mrs. Kidd got all salmonela-ry over it.
94. The ill teacher in the corner puked up on it.
95. The monster ate it.
96. I can't think of an excuse to put here so I'm not going to bother.
97. Do you think if I slipped you a bit of money I could just go and sit down now.
98. I was playing paper aeroplanes with it and it sort of flew into serbia and -Guess what? Melosavitch ate it!
99. I was playing with melosavitch and Nato blew him and my homework up.
100. I made an electro magnet and sucked out my brain.
101. I am going to write 101 excuses for late homework three so I won't really have time..