Welcome to the Spare Room

For all the bits that don't fit anywhere else!!!

Amazingly useless, but interesting products... (where else do they belong?)

Patented PVC Penguin Suit

 For all your deviant minds
The amazing penguin suit is a fantasy waiting to happen. Designed crotchless and with a handy pull tag for quick velcro release it is guaranteed to excite. Internal nobbles ensure maximum arousal.

No spare room can be without one.

Either Speak to a Happy Customer, or
Call 08898 1233321 now!

The Blow Up Closet

 To help you come out wherever you are
Come out to your parents!
Come out to your friends!
Come out at parties!
The amazing whizz-blow technology allows you to quickly inflate this marvellous object. Based on Maxwells now infamous 'Edwardian Closet', this blow up version is fully 1992 safety compliant. Use it whenever the mood suits to aid your release or entry into any place or thing.

No room full stop can be without one.

Call 08898 1233322 now!

The Bewildering Bell

 Not standard but very fun
The one of a kind programmable rechargeable recyclable positionable doorbell. Not simple, but simple to operate, this personalisable visitor alerting system will suit your every need or whim.
  1. Bewildering Bell can be programmed with a short or long delay to aid visitation confusion. Imagine as a visitor, pressing the Bewildering Bell hearing nothing then, say 40 seconds later, hearing the recognisable Ding-Dong
  2. Bewildering Bell can be programmed to be a Knock Knock!
  3. Bewildering Bell could be programmed to sing the National Anthem or some other crap song (Oasis?)
  4. Bewildering Bell can be programmed to shout "Fuck Off" for those without friends, or those who wish to lose all their present ones.
You know you need one.

No full stop can be without one.

Call 08898 1233323 now!

PeeJay Fireworks

 Make the party go with a whizz
There have been several party "theme" games released in the past few years that have made a few bob for their inventors such as the Murder Mystery, Cluedo etc. etc. but they are all crap compared to 'PeeJay Fire Works'

"yes but they didn't throw lives or property into jeopardy"
but I say don't let the HASAPA (health and safety at play act) ruin a good idea.

You are provided with a box which contains the following: Please provide your own Pyjama's.

Hey presto!
you have the "Go with a bang individual firework display competition".
Rules:
Over a few drinks betting takes place in two categories
  1. Best display (but the individual must live to tell the tale)
  2. Purveyor of the most damage (house fires etc.).
Winner takes all
fireworks are fun because they can be dangerous

No party goes without it.

Call IMMEDIATELY on 08898 1233324

Self-Righting Duvet

 Never get in a twist again
That cold feet in the morning syndrome affects us all. You and me both. And all our lovely friends.

Now Thanks to an inventinve invention, the syndrome dissapears. A choice of three solutions included free - just pick your preferred option and attach.
  1. Nails - simply nail the duvet to the bed (Hammer not included)
  2. Sandpaper - attach this strip of sandpaper to the top edge of the duvet to ensure correct alignment throughout the night. Any rotational action will be easily spotted by the lack of scratchy chin.
  3. Velcro Feet Wrap - self explanatory.
  4. Orientation Identification Alarm - Screams "I'm round the wrong way, I'm round the wrong way" when sensors are activated.


Ideal Christmas, Wedding, Birthday, Easter of Haloween gift.

Call IMMEDIATELY on 08898 1233325
Send me a favourite product.

The Library

it is all copyrighted by somebody else and stolen blatantly.