Did I Say That?
A collection of feet in mouths and
eggs on faces
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Did I Say That? A collection of feet in mouths and eggs on faces |
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How to offend a nice old Lady |
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Breanard of Gond (on introducing himself to Hoareb Nimblefingers - midwife and healer of Shadowdale):"You look like a woman of the world." She practically chased him out of her house with her broom!
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I’m feeling lucky tonight! |
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Gelf of Tymora in combat: [rolls d20] "A twenty!"[rolls again] "Another twenty! Tymora is smiling upon me!" [rolls again] "Oh. A one." |
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Yeah, so what? |
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Rufus Iamaman (on being handed Arakel’s letter of introduction from Storm Silverhand):"What good is a letter of introduction from someone we’ve never heard of?"
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We shall overcome. |
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Breanard of Gond (again!).Drinks only one third of a dose of climbing potion in preparation for climbing up a castle wall. He starts to climb the wall. He falls off. He tries to climb it again. He falls off. He drinks the rest of the potion |
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Splat! |
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Breanard of Gond (seemingly the god of dickheads).Climbs onto the parapet behind which a squad of goblins are hiding. "I shall dive off the wall and land on the goblins below, wrestling them to the ground.". [Jumps] The goblins part like the Red Sea before him and watch Breanard swallow dive into the stone floor. Numerous jabs with spears follow. |
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This one is beyond words |
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Braenard of Gond (unbelievable isn’t it?):The Righteous Fist are trying to cross the Serpentsbridge on the way to Dagger Falls. Creatures that are hiding in the bushes on the opposite bank and firing arrows won’t let them. The Righteous Fist withdraw to cover where they make camp. Next morning Braenard devises a cunning plan to see if the bridge is still guarded. He walks onto the bridge. The 20 (or more) arrows that rain down upon him suggest that the bridge is, indeed, still guarded. |
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What's Going On? |
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The Righteous Fist The Righteous Fist encounter a guarded caravan (which they are convinced is up to no good). Ingeniously they cast a spell on the Paladin which increases his Charisma to 22 (temporarily). The Paladin (Fenris) strolls down to the caravan (with the rest of the party following at a discrete distance) and engages the guards in conversation. The guards respond favourably and all looks to be going well. Suddenly, an old, bald, unarmoured head pops out of the back of the lead wagon and asks: 'What's going on?' From behind the Paladin the cry 'He's a Magic-User. Take him down!' is heard. The poor old bastard didn't know what had hit him. As Fenris stood there grinning apologetically at the guards this bloke took the following hits:
5 Magic Missiles He was AC10 and had 3 hit points. Do you think he was asking Kelemvor the same question seconds after popping his head out?
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What is he like? |
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Gelf of Tymora The Fist are searching a keep they've just cleaned out for the spell book of a Mage they've toasted. The search is not going well when Gelf suddenly pipes up: 'We could use a Locate Objects Spell.' The rest of the party stare expectantly at him for a few moments then he adds: 'Only I haven't got one and it wouldn't work if I did.'
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Trust in The Lady |
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Gelf of Tymora(He just doesn't know when to stop!) Crossing an acid covered pit using a rope swing Gelf sends every person across with the epithet: 'Just jump off at the other side. Tymora will protect you!' The entire party gets across unscathed leaving only Gelf. For some reason he then ties himself to the rope (nobody else had) and swings. He misses his saving throw, slips off the rope and lands on his soft and squishy parts on the club we'd fastened to the bottom to act as a footrest. Ouch! We weren't aware that Tymora was also the patron Goddess of clowns and Eunuchs.
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Pause for thought? |
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Gelf of Tymora and Fenris Calbright Gelf is in negotiation with a potential hireling. He discusses wages and shares with the young fighter for a few minutes then calls across to the Paladin: 'Hey, Fenris. You've negotiated payment with henchmen before. What's the going monthly rate?' Fenris doesn't even look up from his drink as he replies: 'Dunno Gelf. None of them ever survived long enough to get paid.' (Note: Two weeks later the Henchman was dead) |
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