English Howlers

We feel that English is a wonderful language. It seems to afford a wealth of opportunities for unintentional slips and puns, be they of the tongue or the pen. The following, taken from the national press recently, reveals that not only is English an international language, but also - reassuringly - that gaffs can be found throughout the far reaches of the globe.

Enjoy !

A recent survey of examination papers has revealed that students writing in English the world over were united in the type of howlers they produce in exam papers.

British and American scholars independently defined the equator as "a menagerie lion running around the Earth through Africa."

That startling image probably comes from their attempt at the phrase "imaginary line."

U.S. science and health students came up with : "Vacuum : a large empty space where the Pope lives."

Momentum - probably confused with memento but still rather nicely suggesting an element of motion - was described as "what you give a person when they are going away."

An American's definition of the composition of water was original too. He said : "Water is composed of two gins, oxygin and hydrogin."

The student, warming to his theme, continued : "Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."

John Barker, co-editor of the Journal of Biological Education, which publishes lists of mistakes, said : "Given similar subjects, children will make the same sort of errors. They are mainly due to writing words the way they sound or to lack of knowledge of the subject."